AVATAR Review (SPOILER on HIGH ALERT!!!!)

Storywise…

Well, about this movie I saw just last night?

So there is this island, y’see, … nope, not an island, a planet, yeah, a planet.

Papua is the name—Planet Papua (darn nice name, if I do say so mesself, got them nice ring to it, so to speak). Now, this Planet Pandora. … Did I say, Pandora? Papua? America? Nah, that’s entirely different film, that one is. Iraq? Aw, no. Whoever heard of Planet Iraq... Mmm, Afghanistan? Heck, no, that was Rambo 3 movie, that was (damn fine one, at that). Okay, let’s just call the damn place Planet Pandora. Howzzat?

Now, this planet is here is sooo … beautiful. And I don’t use this word lightly, you mark my word. It’s got all these purdy flowers and such. Darn purdy flowers… The darnest purdiest flowers you ever did see, you mark my words. This planet here—look like that island, Papua—also has got all them strange-lookin’ plants, and them big, big trees. And they glow. Boy, how they glow. They glow when you touch ‘em, y’see. Just poke ‘em a little and see them glow. So, at nights, why, you won’t need no torch or fire or nuthin’. You won’t need none of them, no sirree. Nope. U-uh. So if guys wanna see where you wanna plant your feet in them forest, why, just touch one of ‘em flowers, or leaves, or whatever please ya, thank you very much, and you get your light, and you can just walk in that forest clear as day. And if you touch enough of ‘em leaves, flowers, whatever, why, you can have your disco night right there in the forest. Woo-hoo, yeah, yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh…ehm, so anyways, the animals in this planet also look damn great and alive. Boy, the way they move, as if they ain’t got no bones or joint, so graceful, if I do say so myself, unlike they way you or me move, no way. When they land on their six feet, my, as if there ain’t no impact between them feet and the hard soil. Damn graceful.

And, this planet has this thing called, don’t laugh now, coz it’s a darn hard name to say, this one, un-ob-taain-niuium. That’s what that is: Unobtainiuium.

Now, this Planet, Pandora, has got this Unobtainiuium aplenty, down in the eart— …err, soil. And this Unobtainiuium will get you mighty fine price here on Earth. Why it’s damn pricey, they have this gazillion dollars equipment sent from Earth to dig out this unobtainiuium, yessiree, that they do. So, even tho’ they have all these gazillion, gazillion pricey equipments, why, with them price that high, they’ll get more gazillion, gazillion dollars more from selling them unobtainiuium, so that’s okay—sending them pricey equipments.

Now, the problem with Halliburt—er, the company doin’ all them diggin’ is that, why, this planet has its people living on it, y’see. Not just some animals, small and big, no sir, uh-uh. The people there, why they have their own tails, yes, they do. And, they look kinda cute, as a matter of fact. But, they’re tall… Man, ain’t they tall… And they speak, and they sing, dance as you please… Damn fine lookin’ people they are, damn fine…whooeee…

Now, this company, Freeport-Halliburton-McMorran Ltd., had this, whaddayacallthat…charge de affair, sumthin’. This young charge de affair looks damn young he shouldn’t be in the movie, y’know what I’m sayin’? He’s damn too young. That director what directed the movie oughta get someone else playin’. Someone older. Now, I’m not against them younger actors, nosirree. But that guy, Ribisi, I think his name was, is just damn too young to play this Palmer guy. He got all worried about them Pandora people not liking one bit their diggin’ in their land, no sir, no ma’am. So Freeport here … wait, wait, did I say Freeport? Damn, that’s just plain wrong…There ain’t no Freeport up there on Pandora. No way.

…

What? I said Halliburton also? What’s Halliburton? I know nothin’ ‘bout no Halliburton, no way, uh-uh.

So, anyways, this company then hire these ex-soldiers, y’see. Toughest lookin’ sonsofbitches you ever did see. Hell, yeah. This Blackrock Company—they’ve got all these cool equipments, heavy artillery, crazy weapons, grrrrreat lookin’ choppers, and they have this leader, Colonel Miles Quaritch, with none-of-your-BS attitude. He’s all military and stuff, he’s all busy-like, barking orders, checking up all them fancy electronic computer equipments with them flashy lights and monitors—he forgets wearing shirt, this fine colonel.

Heck, this colonel is also damn smart, he could operate some of them fancy electronic computer equipments. He’s that smart. And this guy is one tough mutha, tough as nails, only even tougher than the toughest nail you can get down in them buildin’ material store. If this Colonel Quaritch looks at you wrong, why, you’d best crawl back into your mama’s belly, that’s what you gotta do. Yeah. Just crawl back in there you pansy, sissy pretty boy, you… Yeah, yeah, that’s right, don’t let me see your damn fine looking pansy face right there in front of me, you…

…Okay…

So these big boys (from Blackwood Company) with them big guns and big choppers, and cool looking robots—just like those in a movie I saw years ago, ALIENS, I think the movie was called, only here, them robots are all covered and closed up tight so as the people operating them can breath mighty fine, ‘coz, y’see, here in Pandora, we cannot breathe as we’d like to, no sir, uh-uh, so we gotta wear them fancy oxygen mask—are hired to make sure them fine company boys can do their important diggin’ to dig all them unobtainiuium out happy and safe as can be. Whooee, that’s one long sentence, that one. Yeah. Anyways, so as them engineers can do them diggin’ and singin’ them happy songs, all at the same time, they can.

Now, these Papuans—only they are called Na’vi here in this fine movie, I saw just last night, don’t take too kindly these white folks—with some blacks thrown in for good measure—diggin’, and fellin’ their precious shining trees. No way.

So they fight with them cool, cool looking bows and arrows, only since these Papuans are so darn tall, their arrows are like spears to us. Now, you won’t want no spears run thru’ your chest, no sir, no ma’am, thank you very much.

So this cunning people from this Halliburton-Blackwater Company get together, y’see, and talk about how they can solve this damn problem. So they decide to get someone into this Na’vi people. Damn, that was just brilliant, if I do say so mesself. You won’t see that kinda trick pulled here anywhere on Earth. No way. Not in Aceh, not in Afghanistan, not in America, not in Iraq, not in Palestine, not in Zulu, not anywhere. Only in Hollywood, people, only in Hollywood.

So this guy, this spy, this Jake Sully (that’s this guy’s name), get into the tribe, and pretend to wanna be one of ‘em Na’vi people, only at nights he’d, hush-hush, report to this tough-as-nail-only-tougher Colonel With No Shirt On.

Then in the morning, why, this spy, this Liutenant Dunbar, Dances with Wolv—er… learns them Na’vi ways: Hunting, running and jumping from trees to trees like monkeys, catching them fine looking horses that look suspiciously like seahorse, and learn to ride them so damn fine lookin’ birdie with no feathers, y’see, so they look like them dinosaur birds in that Spielberg movie about them dinosaurs. Whooee… Only, of course, he still acts like white boys, debating everything, touching like they are already close, like, comparing with what they know, etc, etc.

Now, the darnest thing is that this Dunbar guy, this spy guy, can’t keep his eyes off his mentor, this fine looking Na’vi lady, Stands With a Fist … that’s ain’t right. It should be shorter…

…

Damn, I was wrong. The name should be Pocahontas, yup, that’s it. Shorter.

So, this John Smith guy, this spy guy, start to get all softie with this Indian princess. And, yup, you know it. They fall in love….. oooh, pooey…. Heh, heh, that Donald Duck, he’s damn funny, he is, heh heh…

So, Pocaneitiri and John Sully-Smith, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-I-N-G, and them looking hardcase soldiers get bored waitin’ for them reports from this Sully guy, this spy guy, about them Indians, when are they gonna move? When are they gonna move? huh? Huh? And this young manager, played by this Ribisi actor, is also like that: When are they gonna move? When are they gonna move? Huh? Huh? I want them diggin’ done in their village there. They’ve got this huge load of unobtainiuium there. The hugest load in the radius of 200 kilometers. Sure, this planet is big (we ain’t talking about island like Papua, here), and we can go look for other motherlode anywhere in this planet, but if we do that, we won’t be able to kill them damn Na’vi then now, would we? Heck, no. There won’t be no damn cool looking battle then now, will there? No sir, no ma’am.

So, we go to war. Whooee… and that was some battle, that was. And this Colonel Quaritch lead the damn invasion with a cup of coffee in hand... And a shirt. Well, well, whaddaya know… It’s that damn caffeine, I guess.

And them arrows, whooee, in the beginning, them arrows can’t break them chopper glass windows, but finally…Yess… them arrows shot through them glass and kill them pilots, yeah, yeah…

Whooee… that was a fine movie I saw just last night. Damn, fine.

K-20: Legend of the Mask

K-20: The Legend of the Mask (K20: Kaijin niju menso den) is a Japanese movie (you can tell from the title. D'uh) adapted from the novel of the same name. It is one of the movies bawled me over with its slick overall production and tone and setting (by God, those sets!) and whatnots that got me all pumped up and excited and thrilled (see how I got all redundant, here? I was that pumped, excited, and--anyways...). AND, the movie stars that hottie Takeshi Kaneshiro of Red Cliff 1 & 2-fame, among others. The story is set in a 1949 fictional Tokyo(in the movie, it is Teito), with Zeppelins flying in the sky of te city. And police choppers bearing the legend POLIZEI flew out of it. Below, Teito is a city very much influenced by many post-apocalyptic or alternate-reality-set movies or comics. It is dirty. It has colors of rust dominating just about everything. It has buildings and vehicles fitting with the the year (1949). And rusty old Tokyo Tower is the tallest structure, majestic and horrific at the same time. And, boy, those rusts. The society comes in standard the lowest class and its opposite, with no place for the middle class (That only exists in the real world, apparently). And we see the the city's police (POLIZEI?) captain's engagement ceremony performed in a big beautiful building and guarded heavily by armed soldiers. City officials apparently have it extremely easy in this world. The technology this world apply is the craziest kind of techno-wizardry that only Nikolas Tesla could have come up with: The story opens with the demonstration of an attempt to send (electrical) energy nary all those troublesome wiring, followed by things going wrong: A bad guy, explosions, audience running this way and that, etc. etc. you know the drill. The lead character, Heikichi Endo, played by that breath-takingly handsome Takeshi Kaneshiro, is an unsurpassed magician and acrobat, performing for a struggling travelling circus. And, with his mentor's health failing, he gets an offer to use that acrobatic skill of his to get some real money. And that's where his adventure begins. The movie is powerful due to its strong human drama, for one thing, though some people might not like the cliches the movie is rife with. Poor kids, abandoned or orphaned, living in the garbage dumps are all over the movie, serving to strengthen the characters (especially those played by that cute hunk of guy, Takeshi Kaneshiro and Tokoko Matsu's Yoko Hashiba) and help direct their relationship. But, this is not a drama, no sir, as when the actions start, they come fast and long and beautifully orchestrated. One fight scene that takes place in an small alley made me forget the fight happens in an alley: The two fighters move with so much ease, they seem like fighting in a big open ring. And the actions nod more to the direction of Hong Kong's finest action movies, rather than Japanese short-burst actions in Samurai flicks. CGI, of course, is on the table but, again, some CGI effects are so smooth, my jaw dropped (though some others are bleh...) The acrobatic actions on the rooftops (And walls. And streets. And alleyways) are blatantly parkour, so anybody who is into this, will have his wet dreams made real on screen. Yesss...the--er-- irony? antithesis?. Of course, the movie is Batman-meets-Zorro-meets-Blade Runner-meets-Steampunk (comics), and even the score takes some notes from Indiana Jones's and some others from Legend of Zorro's, but hey, when it is done this good, I'm all forgiving. So, with 137-minute runtime, the movie has its hits (the actions, characters, the story) and miss (the cliched drama), but it is a damn beautiful movie with crazy actions and cool stunts, and that gorgeous-even-when sulking cute-as-puppy-when-smiling Takeshi Kaneshiro really nails the character with his boyish looks but commanding on-screen presence. And some Japanese humors added to the mix may seem fresh for those not familiar with manga, anime or dorama. * * * What? The title? K-20 and all that? Oh, it refers to this Robin Hood/Zorro-like thief, famous for his mastery in disguises, that supposedly steals from the rich to give to the poor, but somehow or others, the public like their handsome police captain, who vows to catch the dastardly thief, more that they do the thief, and that astonishing looking-with-hot-bode-to-boot Takeshi Kaneshiro character thrown into the spiraling conspiracy related to K-20, and the plan for world domination using crazy gigantic cannon powered by nature's very own limitless electrical power of the the good ol' lightning.

Puzzling 'poo

Torment hath been but a word, like

all flowers this world hath borne.

Lexis-all meaningless to this tongue for scorn.

Kisses naught but these brows fevered hike.

Into thine eyes thou hath me drowned, but

sail me back to thy harbour then as night's nigh near

Charge me, hard and true. What

hail of love, I am torn asunder.

Exile me from these nations of men.

Arrows thru my heart those words you sent

Playfully render me heated and bothered.

Woe, o woe is me,

To o'ershadow mine eyes with aught else to see

Perplexed feeling this heart of mine

Words so sweet mine ears are thine

Roses bled their perfumed blood

To breathe in your scent I'd hold mine breath

Sweets rolling in thy tongue to me the world's wealth

To win to earn to treasure to hold.

Mine body trembles for thine

Thy love my own my wont

Use me, love, o'erwrought me I'm thine

For want a puzzle solved, agitated not but read and reread.

"Comment" your answer if you would

Torment hath been but a word, like

all flowers this world hath borne.

Lexis-all meaningless to this tongue for scorn.

Kisses naught but these brows fevered hike.

Into thine eyes thou hath me drowned, but

sail me back to thy harbour then as night's nigh near

Charge me, hard and true. What

hail of love, I am torn asunder.

Exile me from these nations of men.

Arrows thru my heart those words you sent

Playfully render me heated and bothered.

Woe, o woe is me,

To o'ershadow mine eyes with aught else to see

Perplexed feeling this heart of mine

Words so sweet mine ears are thine

Roses bled their perfumed blood

To breathe in your scent I'd hold mine breath

Sweets rolling in thy tongue to me the world's wealth

To win to earn to treasure to hold.

Mine body trembles for thine

Thy love my own my wont

Use me, love, o'erwrought me I'm thine

For want a puzzle solved, agitated not but read and reread.

"Comment" your answer if you would

Delectable Details

"Having children doesn't make a woman a mother" ran an [facebook] status update of one of my estranged colleagues.

You can argue until your lips crack, your throats hurt, your veins ready to burst, you're all ready to act as only humans can possibly do: tear your interlocutor's throat and drink the person's blood, only you aren't thirsty, over the issue. Yet, it is a tough job being a parent to little kids though it all comes down to You want it, they've got it (They being your kids):
- As babies they could do no wrong: all cuddly, cute as can be with everything they do sending you into ecstatic love and pride. You've been wanting this pride since you knew that kids don't come with the mail, and they couldn't care less as long as there is a teat to suckle everytime they open their mouth.
- Come toddler age, and they look for you, among their toys, when you are starting to regain your love to soap operas. And yet you mollycoddle them, dress them to the nines and parade them around town. All the while scanning those tabloids and bulletin walls in the hospitals for the next Baby Contestas you want to enter them to it and taking notes of the prizes offered, should your kids win.
And you find all your diplomas now come complete with thick-red-crayon drawing of figures suspiciously looking like a sausage having been run over by a truck, with curious-looking protusions and big circular things which if you let your imagination runs really wild may resemble a bit like feet, tail or eyes. Figures which upon interrogation are revealed to be those of dogs, cats or pigs--lipsticks used-up, unsigned contracts now paper planes after taking a dip in the bathtub, walls a scene of batlefield among soldiers of fairy, zoo crew and Ferrari drivers. You bite your lips and try to maintain composure, explaining to them the connection between the importance of your lipsticks to your overall presentability to everyone except your husband; the risk of their living their days like "those kids in Africa" now that daddy's paper is just another one of those Titanic wannabes, with wings to boot; the big, BIG possibility of their grandma's failing to remember their birthday, what with all the walls looking like that--they being kids the connection, or the lack thereof, would escape them, so you can get away with this trickery. All the while you curse under your breath for their losing in those baby contests, into which you've invested quite a lot for the admission fee, new clothes for them and such like. You want the world to acknowledge how great the parties involved in presenting such joyful bundles of cuddly love to the world and see if they care.
- And they grow by the millimeter, occupying more space than you yourselves have trouble filling (being there is not enough space to fill yourselves with in the first place), more and more you bump into them, more and more they ruin your concentration just when you need to focus all of your thought, mind and heart into texting or chatting, more and more often they appear behind you and startling you when you were this close to coming up with that winning move in the chess game against that damn computer(!!!), more and more often they come to you with all their stories which day-by-day sound more and more to you ridiculous, tiring, Why-do-only-I-have-to-hear-this-?, Who-is-going-to-listen-to-ME-?, Don't-I-deserve-attention-just-the-way-I-show-them?, I-want-my-ME-time, Don't-I-deserve-MY-self-actualization-after-everything-I've-been-through,That's-it-I-may-go-to-Komnas Perempuan/Komnas Pria (this writer's pipe dream)-tomorrow. You want your ego stroked, and those kids' big eyes wonderment and dependent love to you just don't cut it.
- And, of course, should you lose your kids' nanny and all their grandmothers or great-aunts have (Surprise!) their own lives to live so that they cannot be there for you to take care of your kids (for you, don't forget that...), you have this to say: "Yeah,yeah, I know, I'm late. Again. Sorry, boss. Got problems at home." You want your excuse, and they provide.

Public Enemies Review

Following other DC's A-list storyarcs getting celluloid treatment, Superman/Batman--Public Enemies the Movie finally hit the DVD with all the WHOMP!s and UUMPH!s that will send the fans banging on WB/DC Studios doors demanding the powers-that-be to animate more of their favorite stories, and that they'd better be quick about it, or else...
The film is based on Superman/Batman--Public Enemies storyarc that DC ran from October '03 until March '04, with the creative power house of Loeb, McGuiness and Vines delivering what I felt when I read the story to be a very refreshingly jubilant joyride of slugfest, though there is still much darkness scattered inside the colorful panels (The event in the story did lead to one of the biggest projects ever conceived by DC).
Yet, as the film needed to be a standalone, avoiding much mucks that drag many serialized comics (and hurt this comic fan's wallet), we see pretty big changes that fortunately won't cause the viewers who might be unfamilliar with the source story or even with (horror...) the characters and the universe scratch their heads and, halfway through, decide to switch to America's Got Talent instead.
America was in the dumps (bet nobody saw that coming), the God-fearing weapon-loving Americans voted Lex Luthor POTUS. And, whaddayaknow--he seemed to be doing a pretty darn good job at it. But, as a big chunk of space rock the size of Brazil believed to be a part of Planet Krypton after its End Day (the planet exploded, not getting major shower, that's what leads to the End of Days, sheesh...) was ready to hit Earth and wipe out all existence, President Luthor saw this as the ultimate opportunity to show the Americans how his xenophobia had all those times been nothing short than prophetic, i.e. Superman-being from-Krypton-somehow-attracting-that-big-BIG-meteorite-to-Earth. And as Luthor was a certified ex-evil genius, who were we to argue?

And so Superman became a fugitive and the hunt for the Last True Boyscout (accompanied by the ever-cunning Batman) began; hence, the title.

The actions in the film (and in the comics) were superb and the people working on the film did some terrific job translating the comic panels to animation: Superman-Batman vs. Metallo; Superman-Batman vs. the whole damn army of supervillains; Superman-Batman vs. President Luthor federal sanctioned superheroes; Superman-Batman vs. Captain Marvel-Hawkman--the fights went fast but with enough details that can make you appreciate seeing just about everybody get the chance to try to rearrange the Big Blue's mug (sometimes I wonder if the people responsible for the story are also xenophobic. Those ba----ds!).

The biggest change made for the movie that I notice is taking away Captain Atom's big role and having Batman (again) replace him, to do what needs to be done--in the comics we get to learn quite a lot about Captain Atom from this part of the story.

The film's animation by Korean animators, and I like the way the characters move. Sometimes in the fights, fists flew pretty slow with the result that we can see that rearranging Superman's mug-thingie pretty clearly, so I guess those were intentional.
Many dialogs, utterance, one-liners abd jokes from the comics make their way to film, and that is nice.
The character designs tried a bit too hard to translate the clear artworks of McGuiness and Vines, resulting in the bulbous upper arms, chests, thighs and much of everything else, including chins...or are they jaws??
And Power Girl did a great job providing an, uh, ogleful.

It's Dead –Sincerity*

* aka. You'd laugh out loud if I tell you there some funny s**t down here

aka. There Might Be a Part II Somewhere Here, or Not

It's so nice to live in a world full of people always willing to help one another.

'Here's my number. Call me anytime. Anytime, y'hear? I'm all yours the moment I got your call calling me for help. I'm there the moment we cut the connection.
'I'll be a fly, stealing into your abode—just give me a door or a window ajar for me to fly through.
'I'll be a mammoth, all horns and tusks announcing to the whole wide world that I'm here for you, should you want you prefer it that way.
'I'll be an eagle, flying high and plunging into your heartache and with talons sharper than blade, tearing it out and dropping it down from up high.
'I'll be a mole, blind to fear, digging tunnel to your place of retreat.
'So, call. Hear?'
…
…

'Why haven't you call? I've been sitting here by my cell phone waiting for your call. How could you
not call!? How could you?!'

And you call.
And you go and wail away spilling your heart out.
And you get all the help you feel you so justly deserve, and then some.
And you get your trouble sorted out, lifted up off of you, thanks to the help rendered.
And you turn away all sunshine and birds and bees, and all the colors of rainbow are you.

Then it takes only a moment with words not necessarily in a sentence, but you will be made sure you understand.
You have your say and you want the reply, a question that would demand an answer:
‘And now I use your help.’
Sincerity? That’s for suckers.

I give and I take.
Sell me yours. You then buy me something.
I do this for you. Wait there—your turn will come when you do me stuff.

‘There. That should do it.
… Hey, don’t I at least get a thank?’
Wow. That’s sincere.

Throw your hands to the heaven, and bargain God. ‘This, O God, Your servant offered Thee. Deliver, O Lord, from Thou aplenty.’
Bargaining with God: Yea, that always turns up good profit.

‘The person has helped me. Surely, I should return the favor.’
‘No one would help me, if I don’t do likewise.’
And that’s what you teach our children, since the moment they recognize you as more than merely an extension of their mouths: That nothing comes for free. You don’t help unless you get something in return. And you sure as Hell don’t get help without paying.

You don’t get your allowance unless you show me respect that I deserve.
You don’t get that new toy car provided you don’t flare my temper for at least four days straight.
You don’t get to play with your friends if you lose the paperwork I bring home.
You don’t get my love, as you don’t act the way I want you to act.

I got taught that one should not fall into the same ditch twice. I know that people change. I positively believe that people also change back. Let loose a dog, which for ten years you’ve been feeding nothing but the most expensive dog meals sold—the kind whose price you’d better not let your domestic helpers know for it would send them into terminal fit—and which you bathe and take to pet salon thrice a week, into the city dumpster and it would see you as not merely its master but its god who has magicked it down to a dog’s heaven.
‘All you stale bread, half-eaten chicken bones, baby’s puke, and everything else that squirm in there, HERE I COME!’

Yep. Dog’s Heaven, all right.

But dogs are not people.
Absolutely true, for dogs are incapable of being insincere.

Do I stay away from people because of whom I spent moments of my life in the dumpster? I do.
Do I forgive? Uh-huh.
Do I learn my lesson? I’d better.
Do I stay away from people with the help of whom I stared Devil in the face? Hell, yeah.